Will Rogers

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. - Will Rogers

Even if your on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. - Will Rogers

You can't say civilization won't advance ... for in every war they kill you a new way. - Will Rogers

My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood. - Will Rogers

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf will. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you can get so sore at yourself that you forget to hate your enemies. - Will Rogers

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. - Will Rogers

Rail-splitting produced an immortal president in Lincoln, but golf hasn't produced even a good Congressman.  - Will Rogers

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. - Will Rogers

Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt. - Will Rogers

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me. - Will Rogers

I'm just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have geen eating pretty regular and the reason I have is because I have stayed an old country boy. - Will Rogers

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself. - Will Rogers

Live your life in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

I have Indian Blood in me. I have just enough white blood for you to question my honesty!  - Will Rogers

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! - Will Rogers

Go out on a limb... That's where the fruit is. - Will Rogers

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match. - Will Rogers

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr. - Will Rogers

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. - Will Rogers

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. - Will Rogers

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? - Will Rogers

Never let yesterday use up too much of today. - Will Rogers

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers