Humor  -  Laughter is the best medicine! 

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Today the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy".

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Don't forget your husbands".

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference.  "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.  Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.  She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns.  Friends are welcome!  Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'.  The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.  The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".

The Preacher

An old preacher was dying.  He sent a message for an IRS agent and his Lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.  The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything.  Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.  They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he was particularly fond of them.

They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness and their avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.  Finally, the lawyer said, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, -  and that's how I want to go, too."


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