Humor - Laughter is the best medicine!
Resumes and
Cover Letters
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Wholly responsible for two failed financial institutions
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details
I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
Note: please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.
Marital status: often. Children: various.
Reason for leaving last job: they insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
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